Don't Chew with your Legs Walking

What you don't know can hurt you...

Japanese legends from long, long ago spoke of the  six lovely school girls who  to defy that of the Japanese customs. Legend has it that shortly after this photo was taken the six children were mysteriously whisked away before they could even turn the corner.
Their school teachers were baffled, the school system was shamed (committing seppuku to atone of course), their parents grieved, and the little community of what is now common-day Tokyo was in utter despair as the next wave 13-year old prostitutes would never come.

The legend continue as these sixes children's bodies were found.  Each of them were found in six separate stone-wall wells spread throughout the regions of Japan.  They were chosen as an act of God.

Ginjakku, the God of rice, decided that there were too many people walking while eating food.  He considered that this was shameful and disrespectful to the food.  Ginjakku felt that these foods, who selflessly sacrificed themselves for the better of the evolution of mankind, were not being shown respect for their sacrifices. In a fury, Ginjakku abducted the kids and scattered them as described above.

The next day when the town's rice paper news scrolls were handed out the headlines read:

"Last Seen Eating while Walking..."  

From that day on the islands of Japan vowed to never eat whilst walking again lest of the pale bony water-logged bodies of the six lovely school girls eerily clamber for their well to take your life for eating while walking.

(I would insert a screenshot from EL RINGUUU, but I'm too scared to Google it)

True/ False Test

1.  Did this legend inspire the Japanese film "Ringu?"
2.  Were those the actual six girls of the Legend of the Ring?
3.  Are there really 13 year old prostitutes?
4.  This is a Pokemon.
5.  Is it actually disrespectful to walk and eat for the reasons listed above?

Answers
1.  To be a jackass, yes, yes it is true.  To be truthful, no it's not.
2.  No, the picture was not an accurate representation.  You can't accurately represent something that's false.
3.  Yes, sadly Japan was known, at one time - maybe even present-day, to have 13 year old prostitutes.
4.  Falso, I really have no idea what the fuck it is.

**Drum roll please**
And the whole reason for this post is the following

Yes, it is actually disrespectful to eat food as you walk for the one reason listed above.  Further there are other reasons why this custom is long upheld, but I really don't care that much to do the research.  All I know is that it's a pain to adhere to because I am always hungry after all this city walking and avoidance of overpriced foods.  Surprisingly, I have seen very few (I can count the instances on one hand) people eating while walking.  Further the people I did see eating while walking looked as though they were Chinese and we all know that the Chinese just don't give a fuck.

I don't hate the customs by any means, but damn the make it so hard for me =(

Garbage, Garbage Rules

Hello.
Welcome to your new life in Japan.


Here are the rules:

Note: I'm not entirely sure if the rules above apply to our city, but the image is still a good example at how ridiculous of an effort it is to "properly" dispose of your garbge.

If you fail to follow each and everyone of these rules you WILL die... a slow painful death called global warming.  Further, the old Japanese lady will monitor your trash that you have placed outside and beat you with a stick next time she sees you doing it wrong.  Seriously, I walked past an old man one night and he saw my garbage bags.  His first reaction was to flash a glance at my foreign face and then he proceeded to make an inventory of all the items that were in the colored bags. I didn't see his reaction but I can only imagine it wasn't a pleasant one. 

Here's our example:

God knows that these drawers/cupboards/cabinets could be utilized for more important things... maybe like the rest of our shit that doesn't fit anywhere else because Japanese domiciles are so damn small.  No, I'm kidding we have tons of room, but damn these places are small.

If there was one thing in my life that I could care less about it's garbage. I mean, its name, in it and of itself, implies its importance. Don't get me wrong, I'm by no means a litter-er, but when I'm done with something I'd very much like to rid myself of it... immediately...just like how I deal with my women... Hahah, okay, not that, but maybe that too (In my defense, I never said women were akin to garbage though).

I digress.  No one wants to deal with their own dirty work more than flushing the toilet, washing dishes, or calling mom to do their own laundry, but damn Japan I laud you for your efforts.

I understand the reason for such tedious garbage measures is that Japan has very limited real estate and that burning garbage/ recycling is an important part in saving landfills (if they even have any), unicorns, and contributing less to global warming.  Honestly, I really have no idea why the Japanese make this garbage thing such an ideal nor have I done any research on it (do it yourself).

The one thing I can say about this whole garbage ordeal is that it annoying as F to carry around garbage with you in your pockets because there are NO public fucking trashcans. With that said let it be known that this trash in my pockets came from somewhere... that somewhere being the food that I just ate while walking. F you Japanese customs!! No, I'm kiding. I'm actually very sorry. That's embarrassing.

Up next: Talking shit on this whole not eating in public thing. 

Photo Dump 1

How do they manage to make things so peaceful looking?
(Yeah, the picture doesn't look as peaceful as it really was...)

 Japanese to English fail (Tons more of these to come in the future)

 Seaweed Vs. Potato Chips

 FUCK YOU DOORRRRPPPHHIIIN!!!
Dolphin mascot teaching kids how to use a defibrillator.

 Optimus Prime x Toilet.
These toilets have seats that warm up, a sink on top when it flushes, the option to turn on "flushing sounds" for shy people who don't want others to hear them dropping a fat shit (through thin walls), and bidet functions (male/female).

 Some mascot.
I missed the opportunity to get a picture with him =(

If youre going to have the t-shirt at least have the food chain...

Weird costumes #1

Japanese Diet

As with all my previous posts, I've made the statement that I've only been here in Nagoya for so long (3 weeks), but these are the observations I've made.  I will revisit these in the future after I've been living here for a longer...

Regardless, I'd like to touch on the subject of Japanese Diet. For as healthy as these fuckers are, they definitely don't eat that way. I say this for multiple reasons. Instead of trying to approach this subject in a well-mannered organized way, you get my stream of conscious post.

Yes, each region of Japan eats different foods, but then again Nagoya is the 3rd or 4th largest city so I can make the assumption that this city makes up a decent portion of the population. With that said, these bastards never eat any vegetables! When I grocery shop I see old ladies buy bentos (pre-made lunches) and ramen... not fresh vegetables, fruit, or fish.  Further, the native food for Nagoya is miso and curry I think... so basically it's unhealthy food.

I don't eat out much since I'm poor; however, I am a pretty solid window shopper.  Also Japan loves to put plastic replicas of the food in the windows.  Let me tell you that I haven't seen many salads, vegetables, or fruits included in these plates.  The only thing you see is some breaded meat, sauce, rice, and other random items garnishing the meals.  I think it's a pretty pertinent point when foreigner guides for the city specifically mention restaurants where you CAN find salads.

So I'm left to believe that the Japanese are just blessed with amazing fucking genetics to live as long as they do with such shitty diets.  My body is withering away over here as I can never get a balanced diet.  I hear they don't actually eat much throughout the day as they are "too busy to eat." Oh, the Japanese also LOVE sweets.  There is yet another subtraction to a healthy diet.

Besides the amazing genetics, I'd say that the ridiculous amounts of walking helps keep them healthy.

Faces

What up,

So I've been working on this theory about the facial structures of the Japanese. To begin, I haven't had many kids classes, but from what I've seen I've been observing some similarities with the older folk.
I know that this study is by no means "new" but I find it interesting because it seems easier to spot with the Japanese. Further, I feel I can recognize more personality traits.

For starters, the saying about rounder faces still stands strong. I believe that I have heard that the rounder the face the more bull headed/ head strong/ type A/  etc. As witnessed by this stupid fat face brat that wouldn't shut his mouth once he found out my name translated sounds just like the word diarrhea. Looking back right now maybe this doesn't make the most sense but fuck that kid anyways.

The second type of face I've started to recognize isn't really a stereotype of a personality, but more of a prediction. There are these kids that just look like their natural born athletes. It's strange but I can't help but think everyone notices too.

Of course there are the shy nerdy types too but I haven't given much thought to it... Plus my trains up hahah.

Later on guys.

Contract accepted

As you probably can guess I'm here in Japan as a conversational English instructor. Nothing special by all means.

What this means to my career? I don't know. Why this means to Japanese people? I don't know. What this means to myself? I haven't the faintest idea nor do I even know if I will like the job (let alone be good at it).

Regardless, I'm here and will be so for at least a year as I signed a contract yesterday. So until then you and I can look forward to some pointless rambling and musings for the next year or so.
BMJ out.

Yo yo yo

So I'm starting this thinggie here to let the friends, family, and lurkers on the internets know about my mediocre times in the Nihon.

Just saying hi for now =]

Oh, and I also usually write as a stream of conscious.